| HIbeachbabe08 |
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read my profile sign my guestbook Name: Lauren Gender: Female Message: message me AIM:  come on is it that hard to just ask???MSN: do ICQ: Yahoo: Jabber: it Member Since: 7/7/2004 |
| its crazy to look back at these things and see how ridiculous/overdramatic they are. i have changed so much. this writing doesnt even sound like me anymore. people change.... wow. | |
so im bored....
cute stuff... | |
ok heres a warning... this blog is out to someone whos important. things have been hard lately. and i feel i have to write this down. you dont have to read it. and you dont have to understand it. but to the one who knows theyll know. so i dreamt about you last night..i dreamt that i was pregnant with this random guys baby. and it wasnt my intention to sleep with this guy at all. and then you found out. and you wouldnt talk to me. the world was crashing down on me. and you just walked away... and that scares me. it didnt matter anymore. you were just gone and there i was... i dont know how to describe it any different. but thats whats happening right now. youre walking out. its not over the stupid fight. its not over any of that. were changing. were growing. and what we once felt for each other isnt there anymore. we dont have that closeness. i dont feel the same being around you. not like i did last year. last summer. its now. its cold and different. maybe i dont know you anymore. maybe you dont know me. but w/e is going on. its happening. ive been thinking about you a lot lately. maybe its b/c we arent talking. i dont know. but i have. when i called you the other day. i just wanted to go over to your house and lay down. just lay anywhere on the floor the couch your bed w/e. i just wanted to lay there knowing that you were next to me. right there with me. but you didnt answer. and then when you got on. i just wanted to talk to you. i wanted to forget the whole other situation. i wanted to pretend that it didnt exist anymore. that it wasnt there. and things were just w/e. i just wanted to talk to you. like i used to. just to know that everything was ok. but that didnt go away. we fought... i dont understand how you think i couldnt be upset. i dont understand how you didnt think we would fight about it. i dont understand why you said some of the last things you did. i wasnt being a baby. you hurt me. and then you kept adding on to that. all those things you said. why? does it really not matter anymore? why have you changed? why are you different? youre never like that with me?...................anyways. i dont think youll read this ever. but thats ok. thats why i wrote it on here. i guess i had to feel like i was telling you something not directly or immediately. and not to the public or to the eyes and ears of those i dont want it to get to. but if you do read this. im here. i want to talk to you. sorry if that didnt make sense.. i dont even know if it made sense to me. thats just kind of what i wanted to get out... | |||
oh wow this is like going through old pictures or something. i NEVER come to xanga.... anyways. i am currently watching my cousins. im only tell you this b/c my cousin sarah has lice and im wearing a cloth/scarf thing on my head and i closely resemble the chiquita banana woman.... haha. i thought that was funny... anywho. life is ok. ive lost 5 lbs! just thought id add that.. hmm what else??... i dont think there is anything else. everything is the same as usual. i hope everything is ok for all you guys out there. i love you oodles! xoxox Lauren | |
well its been about a month... and i dont really miss my xanga... im a myspace addict now. haha. i hope everyone is doing ok. things are fine here... could be better. but hey hey.. cant complain. im breathing and living. anyways. im out. xoxox lauren | |